Hi, it’s me again.
I checked the archives and it’s been over a year since we last sat down for coffee. A whole freaking year. Which seems completely probable, and absolutely impossible at the exact same time. I mean I’ve had coffee (lots of it), and I’m sure you’ve had coffee (maybe less than me?), we just haven’t had it together.
And I’ve missed you so.
See, tiny babies do this thing to me that makes me go MIA as I tend to the feeding and diapering and praying for sleep that happens after we welcome one into our home. Then one day, almost as if someone has turned the lights back on, I wake up out of the early stupor of mothering to find that the entire world has continued on for the last year without me. Every. single. time.
So the lights are coming back on again (I’m so glad they are), and we’ll do all the catching up we can over a nice hot venti pumpkin spice, because it’s fall and I’m still so very tired. Ok? M’kay. 🙂
Summer was rough this year…
There is this prayer we’ve prayed for the last seven years that we are still waiting on God to answer, and for several reasons summer has this ugly tendency to place a magnifying glass over that need. Perhaps it was the less than adequate sleep mixed with my own growing impatience, but this summer has been especially difficult to be reminded of The Prayer That Has Not Yet Been Answered. I’ve spent time alternating between sad and angry, and plenty of time avoiding it all together, until I just couldn’t anymore. Until I was forced to stop, look the sadness and anger in the face, and figure out what God wanted me to do with all of it.
Here’s what I know: The Prayer That Has Not Yet Been Answered makes certain things in our lives very stressful and sucky and I want God to fix it NOW. But I also know He is inherently good, that His timing is not mine, and that even though at times it seems like He’s forgotten about The Prayer That Has Not Yet Been Answered He knows exactly where I am and what I struggle with.
I’m choosing to remember His goodness even when I don’t feel it, and to look for it every chance I get. It is there friends. Even with The Prayer That Has Not Yet Been Answered God is so patiently showing me how good He is. There are plenty of days I lose perspective – the impatience and sadness and anger have not just magically disappeared – but I’m trying to take every thought captive, reminding myself the truth of who God is and the truth of His promises to me.
This is the hard work of faith, I think. So I show up everyday, ask for help when I need to, and remind myself that Jesus has never asked me to walk this road alone.
Words are like medicine to me, so it’s not surprising I’ve held tightly to a few collections of words to get me through the last couple months. Maybe they might be helpful to you as well?
Thy Will – Hillary Scott
This is one of those songs that has been on repeat for me. It’s uncanny to me how this song speaks so clearly to where I am (or where I’m trying to be) right now. But a good song will do that to you.
Present Over Perfect – Shauna Niequist*
Shauna is one of my very favorite authors and her book Present Over Perfect was an absolute gift that came at exactly the right moment in my life. It’s caused me to reflect on all sorts of automatic presets in my heart that maybe aren’t the most healthy or realistic presets to live life with. I’m working on boundaries and grace, honoring my own limits, and embracing my right-now life with joy, because this is the life I’ve been given. It may not be perfect, but it’s mine, and I want to live in it fully.
It’s Not Fair – Melanie Dale*
My friend Leah was part of Melanie’s launch team for It’s Not Fair and after seeing all her social media promo I grabbed a copy for myself. Oh friends, this was another God-send. Melanie writes like your bestie sitting beside you, pushing a venti Starbucks with all the caffeine toward you with a smile and a promise that all those things that make you aggravated with life are going to be ok. Her humor, wit, and perspective are only matched by the encouragement she lays out from God’s Word. So, so thankful for this one.
In other news…
After six and a half years of blogging, I took a little break this summer to refocus and gain some fresh perspective for my writing. It was so good, so necessary. Not only did I remember why I started blogging in the first place, I remembered why I still love it and need it. *All the happy feels.*
It also freed up some space for some new ideas and the opportunity to work on some other projects. But more on that another day. 🙂 The coffee’s gone and the baby’s calling. Thank you for this. I can’t tell you how much I’ve needed it. We’ll talk soon.
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