I gave Noah his first two ounce bottle of formula last night.
I’m not exactly sure what happened. I went from uber-producer to almost non-producer in a matter of a few short weeks. But the girls have called it quits. They’re done. Retired. Finito. Call it what you want, it’s obviously and clearly – over.
I would be lying if I said I’m over this. I have been agonizing about this issue for weeks. I saw it coming when I had to start using my stash from the deep freeze. At first it was just a couple ounces here and there – but the ball rolled down the hill pretty fast. There just isn’t much of the fresh stuff to go around anymore. I’m still pumping a couple times a day (mostly because I might be in denial), but I see a near-end coming to that as well.
I had my heart set on doing this for the first year, just like I did with Elijah, but it is what it is. I certainly can’t sweet talk them into changing their mind – so I will attempt to make whatever peace I can with the situation and move on. I’ll put the storage bags and the lanolin and the breast pads away and pack up my pump with the hope that when next time comes, it might go a little differently.
Despite the disappointment, I have learned three valuable lessons in round two of nursing:
- I can plan all I want, but nursing will rarely go the way I think it will.
- If at some point I again am an over-producer, I will make sure to double-bag and spare myself the heartache of throwing so. much. away.
- I will hold on to those formula samples and five dollar coupons a little longer (citing lesson one).