My life, it seems, flows in a never-ending cycle of laundry and dishes. It’s so predictably consuming it’s almost comical, reminding me so much of the movie Groundhog Day. Every morning I wake up and am greeted by the same sink full of dirty dishes and mounds of dirty clothes. Every night I’m re-loading the dishwasher, again, and hoping to get the clothes folded before they have to go back in the wash. Sometimes it feels like I’m trapped on a hamster wheel running and running to get ahead and live ANY other part of life but never making it far enough to get past the inevitability of the stinking laundry and dirty dishes.
There are days it is less than comical and more like devastating. The practical side of me knows that this season of life bringing diaper blow outs and loads of bottles will only last for a short time and that some day I will long for the laundry and dishes of today because they represent treasured moments of time with my little boys. The creative side of me however feels like it’s suffocating in the hamper. I was designed to do more than laundry and dishes, but I am hard pressed to find time for anything else.
In an attempt to live at peace with both the practical and creative in my life, I have decided I must do the following things:
1. I need to play music in the house.
Sure we listen to the children’s choir from My Big Box of Split Track Bible Songs, but I need something that’s going to move me like How He Loves Us (Kim Walker), or make me remember what it’s like to be fun and romantic like Just the Way You Are (Bruno Mars). Music is the accompanying soundtrack of my life. When there’s nothing being played, it feels like there is a part of me that is no longer living.
2. I need to focus on moments.
I feel perfectly validated in feeling like I am at times overrun by laundry and dishes, but I must also remember to hold onto the moments sprinkled between them that add sparkle to the drabbest of days; like Noah belly laughing as Elijah repeatedly sneezes a dirty burp cloth off his face; Mike sneaking back home between work and school to spend extra time with us; God whispering a promise to me in the middle of chaotic playtime with the boys. There are moments in my day that are beautiful. I just need to train myself to really live them and enjoy them.
3. I need to carve out time to create.
At this moment I don’t know how I’m going to make it happen on a consistent basis, but I know that I need to try for my own sense of well-being. Today is a step in the right direction. I have chosen to write first, and do laundry and dishes later. Depending on how late I’m up, I may skip them all together.