I tried explaining to Mike the other day, that while pregnant I have a tendency to live in a state of denial about the fact the baby actually has to leave my body somehow at the end of 9 months (10 months). There is so much to think about being pregnant, and who really wants to dwell on the thought of labor and delivery for that long anyway? I remember when I was pregnant with Elijah, the first time it dawned on me that I was going to have to actually HAVE the baby was when I was told I would be induced and was shown to my hospital room.
I know it sounds silly, but it’s how I cope.
With my due date rapidly approaching, and with things being slightly different this time around, I have been forced to think about the actual process of Noah being born more and more. I’ve even done some research. Even though it’s my second time around the block, I’m still only slightly less than terrified. It’s a whole new game. My options are to VBAC or to schedule a C-section. I know what it’s like to have a C-section, and the lovely recovery that awaits that option. I don’t know what it’s like to VBAC, and frankly that scares me even more.
In all of my mommy-polling and online research, the thing that resonated most with where I am at is a quote from the Mayo Clinic website:
If you’re considering VBAC, it’s important to be flexible. You won’t know what cards you’ll be dealt until labor begins. The circumstances of your labor may make VBAC a clear choice, or you and your doctor may quickly decide that a repeat C-section would be best after all. If you choose an elective C-section, you’ll never see what cards were in the deck — and for some women, that might be just fine.
I am by nature an organizer and a planner. Having a baby is neither organized nor planned, so you can understand how the waiting game is a little stressful for me . . . especially when I am waiting to find out if I can VBAC, if I have to stick with a repeat C-section, or if I will be one of the lucky ladies who end up with a combination of the two (insert implied sarcasm).
The one thing I keep holding onto through this whole process is that God in His sovereignty knows what’s going to happen, how it’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen. Everyday I am praying for the patience and strength I need for these last few days and that my worry and stress would turn into peace and faith for God’s best in Noah’s birth.
Because I like to know my options before making any decisions, the plan as it stands is that if I should go into labor naturally, I will attempt to VBAC (taking into careful consideration the circumstances of my labor). If we make it to my due date with no movement, I will have a planned c-section.
I’m excited to see how Noah’s birth story unfolds . . .